Category: Uncategorized

Memories are funny things…and not all of them good. But that is okay. Every moment leaves an imprint on our lives and, good or bad, those memories are triggered by small things. Like blueberry muffins.

Now I realize the blueberry muffins are a strange trigger, but they play a big part in an amazing 2 days at the Hualapai Mountain Resort Arts and Crafts Fair in August 2011

After recruiting 1 husband, 2 daughters and a very tiny granddaughter, I finalized a menu of 6 cupcake flavors, brownie bites, cinnamon rolls and 2 flavors of muffins..banana and blueberry.

We baked, decorated, packaged and labelled enough product for the 1000 expected craft fair attendees and headed to the Hualapai Mountain Resort very early on a Saturday morning in August.

Now, having absolutely NO experience with setting up for a craft fair, we erred on the side of having too much rather than too little product. So naturally it took a good deal of time to unload a pickup and SUV of tables, chairs, EZ up (in this case, not so ez up), display cases (which husband had made) and product.

• 

• 

• 

Day 2 started off with everyone complains about how tired and sore, but excited to get back to the mountains to see just how much we could actually sell. So we loaded up and made our way back to Hualapai Mountain Resort. As we started setting up, our fellow vendors, many of whom had spent the night in tents and campers at the site, started coming by for fresh cinnamon rolls and muffins. The gates opened of customers started to slowly trickle in. Not as busy as day 1, but steady.

It has been almost 8 years since that weekend in the Hualapai mountains, but every time I make blueberry muffins, I can smell the pine resin, see the dappled sunlight through the aspens and, clearly as that day, hear myself asking “do you seen any blueberries in it?”.

The price of anything is the amount of life you exchange for it…Henry David Thoreau

 

As you may have noticed, I have been away from my keyboard for a few weeks.  Not because i haven’t had anything to say, but, simply put, life has managed to once again, get in the way of living.

I had to get a real job.

I know, I know, big deal right?  Welcome (back) to Adulting.  Since closing Lavender Box in January, I had been spending a lot of time working on my cottage bakery…and to be honest, myself.  Trying to answer the basic questions about me;

At (almost) 51 years old, one would think that I had all of that figured out; and I thought I had.  For decades, I have been a daughter, a student, a wife, a mother, a friend and an employee, Some days I was afraid my neck was not strong enough to hold up my head because of all the hats I wore.   But that is the life I chose.  A long time ago I realized that life is much like the books that let you “choose” how the story went; at the end of a chapter, you’d answer a question that would determine the “path” your would go.

Of course, some life events are out of my control, I didn’t get to chose my parents, siblings, or extended family.  The schools I attended were decided by the higher power of the school districting board, and even religion was someone else’s decision in my early years.

But even as others made those types of decisions that effected my life, the decisions I made, determined the outcome.  Don’t study or do homework–get bad grades.  That’s a pretty basic concept, but one that I think many people don’t seem to grasp.  The result you get in life is determined by the effort you put in.  You choose your path, and how you react to the story you choose will determine how your story unfolds.

But, enough philosophical musings, back to the root of this story…dough.  Not just the dough that results from having a job ( I do have to admit though, having a steady income has helped a lot), but the dough that makes me happy.  Dough that, when baked, is light, flaky, crispy and sweet…all at the same time.  Dough that takes me 2 days from start to finish when making at home (man I miss my dough sheeter)

Okay, Okay.  No wallowing today, just beautiful dough.  Croissant dough to be precise.

In pastry school, when we learned to make laminated doughs (croissant, puff pastry), we learned to do it by hand.  Getting a feel for the dough and knowing the steps is key to being able to get it right.  So, up until the time I opened Lavender Box, I made croissants by hand; and now that I am back to being a “home” bakery, I am, once again, rolling and folding the dough the old fashioned (and sometimes tiring) way.

But the result of all that work is something almost ethereal.  Delicate and light, fresh croissants are one of my favorite things, and defiantly worth the time and effort.

Good butter croissants begin with cold ingredients.  Ice water, egg, sugar, salt and milk powder combined in the mixer bowl.  With you dough hook, knead in the bread flour, yeast and (a touch) of softened butter.

As with any dough, texture is key.  Kneading croissant dough just the right amount, helps create that wonderful texture.  I have found that right amount of time is 5 minutes on a medium high (7 on Kitchen aid mixer).

After the dough has been made, wrap it tightly with plastic wrap and refrigerate for at least 1 hour.  While you dough is chilling, make you butter block. I use 2 pounds of unsalted butter in my croissants.  While some recipes for croissants call for the butter to be mixed with some flour, I have never found this makes a difference one way or the other.  I let the butter get to room temperature (it should be soft enough that when you press with your finger it will indent, but not so soft that you can easily push your finger through), and then roll it between 2 sheets of plastic wrap to a 10 x 10 inch square.  Then refrigerate the butter.  The dough and butter should be the same “stiffness”.  If you butter is too soft, it will squish (very technical term, I know) out everywhere.  But if your dough is softer than your butter, the butter will tear the dough.  It takes some practice to learn the right level of firmness for both dough and butter, but I have found that if the dough has been refrigerated for about an hour, and the butter at least 30 minutes, they seem to laminate very well.

Now the fun starts.  Roll out the chilled dough to a 20 x 10 inch rectangle.  Then place the butter on one side and seal it up like an envelope.  Press those edges together well, we don’t want any butter oozing out.

Since the butter is cold, it will be hard.  Take you rolling pin and make “speed bumps” in the dough.  The “dips” helps work the butter so that you can roll out the dough.

Roll the dough out to 10 x 24 “, fold into thirds (a single book fold).  Wrap and chill for 30 minutes.  Roll the chilled dough out again to 10″ x 24” and make a double book fold (fold each end into the middle and the fold in half). Refrigerate again for 30 minutes.  Roll out one last time and make a single book fold.  Wrap well and retard in the refrigerator overnight.

After the dough has retarded in the refrigerator overnight, Roll dough out into a 16″ x 30″ rectangle.  Cut triangles 4″ wide at the base, and roll.  Cover with a clean towel and let raise until double.  Brush with egg wash and bake in 425 degree oven until dark golden brown.  Enjoy.

If you are wanting something really amazing, turn this wonderful croissant dough into Kouign-Amann, but that is a story for another day.

 

 

 

 

 

I’ve spent the majority of my life working in the healthcare field.  In all honesty, from ages 12-46, I worked in healthcare in some capacity.  Many of those years were spent in long term care homes and critical care units in hospitals; and either way you go, both of those types of jobs comes with a lot of loss.

I don’t know if people who gravitate to patient care professions do so as some type of pre-determined pull, or if they fall into it some other way and decide they are suited to it.  Either way, I have never known why I stayed in the field for so many decades, other than I was born to it.

Some one asked me how I did it; how was I able to go to work every day and see these people knowing that many of them would die soon.  And to be honest, I have never had an answer, even for myself.  What I do know, and have said for years, is this:  If, at the end of the day (or shift), just one person was impacted in a positive way by something I did or said, it was a good day.  And that swings both ways.  I have been so blessed by the people who have drifted in–and out– of my life over the years;  I think I have definitely come out better for having met them.

One of the most amazing and special people to have let me call her friend is Mickey.  I first met Mickey working pulmonary rehab in Dr. M’s office in Arizona.    She is the mother-in-law of another physician at the hospital, and he referred her to us for management of her COPD.

Now the main thing about pulmonary rehab, is that if you can’t find some kind of common ground with your “patient”, each session will take forever.  There will be a lot of awkward silence and botched attempts at small talk.  With Mickey there was never any of that.  The first time I met her I knew we were kindred spirits.  She had 3 daughters–I have 3 daughters; She loves to read–I will read the inserts from prescriptions just because they have words.  But it think one of the biggest connections Mickey and I have is cooking.  She has the same type of mindset that I do, We mother with food, we comfort with food, we celebrate with food and we love with food.

From very early on, Mickey would come in to each session with goodies–lemon bars, peanut brittle, toffee and the ABSOLUTE BEST pecanettes ever.  So naturally we started comparing and swapping recipes.  Mickey actually became my first real, repeat customer when I started inKredible edibleS in AZ; ordering cakes for birthdays, showered and graduations.

She taught me how to make tamales and always called me first when her apricot tree was putting out fruit.  For a few years, hubby, kids and I would take laundry baskets to Mickey’s house in mid-late July and harvest apricots.  The only thing she ever asked was for a couple of jars to send to her twin brother Bill.

For close to 5 years, I saw Mickey 2-3 times a week.  To be honest, she was the only person (or thing) that I had a difficult time leaving when I moved from Arizona to Nevada.  We still Facebook stalk each other and I hope to get to go visit her at least one more time.

Mickey will turn 81 on June 23rd this year, and every minute I had with here becomes more special with each passing day.  I have so many cherished memories that I carry with me, but I also have a very tangible part of Mickey with me always.  A few years ago, her youngest daughter put together all of their family recipes, and Mickey gifted me with a copy of these.  It is my most used and most special cookbook out of the scads that I have.

When I was finally able to open my bakery, Lavender Box Bakery, I asked Mickey for her permission to use her carrot cake recipe; and her being the bestest friend I could have, said “Of Course”.  It is the absolute best carrot cake ever.

The other Mickey recipe I use all the time is for her banana bread.  Most families have banana bread recipes, and I have tried dozens over the years.  This recipe is unique in that you don’t have to use ripe bananas.  That’s right, no more setting the bananas out for a few days to get ripe, and then forgetting them and finding a dried up pile of goo a couple of weeks later (not that I have ever had that happen).   I did make one adaptation to this recipe.  Mickey uses shortening and I replaced it with room temp butter.  I can’t help myself, butter is better.

Your can use bananas that you’d eat for this bread recipe.  The secret is to mash the banana and sugar together and let it macerate (sit) while you get all the other ingredients together.  Oh, and to mix the baking soda in with a tablespoon of water.  Mickey and I discussed this at length and decided the dissolved baking soda was key to the success of this bread.

The rest is pretty simple.  Macerate bananas and sugar for about 15 minutes.  Then add in the eggs and butter.  After that is combined, stir in the baking soda/water mix, vanilla and dry ingredients.  As with other quick breads, never over mix the batter or you will have tough bread.  Here’s the link to the recipe:  Banana Bread Recipe

I try to be realistic about it, so I know that I may not actually get to sit in Mickey’s kitchen talking an laughing, and no matter how many times I try to make them, I cannot get her pecanettes to taste right.  But that’s okay, every time I make a carrot cake she’s with me.  And this post was never really about the bananas, it is me coming to peace with the fact that with all the loss I’ve had in my life, there will be more.  There will be the day when I get the news that Mickey has left, and I will know I have lost a truly special friend.  But with that come the joy in having just know her.

Because you see, at the end of the day, she made my life, she made me, better.